7 February // The Tea Party Usurps Thomas Paine

This blows my mind. Glenn Beck is the antithesis of Paine in nearly every way imaginable. Plus, it is incredibly weird that the man who organizes prayer vigils in DC would consider himself the peer of a dude who felt that organized religion was a cancerous blot on an individual's moral consciousness.

Some interesting quotes from Paine's various works:

It is a position not to be controverted that the earth, in its natural, cultivated state was, and ever would have continued to be, the common property of the human race. In that state every man would have been born to property. He would have been a joint life proprietor with rest in the property of the soil, and in all its natural productions, vegetable and animal." (Paine, Agrarian Justice)

"Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity. Too absurd for belief, too impossible to convince, and too inconsistent for practice, it renders the heart torpid or produces only atheists or fanatics. As an engine of power, it serves the purpose of despotism, and as a means of wealth, the avarice of priests, but so far as respects the good of man in general it leads to nothing here or hereafter." (Paine, The Age of Reason)

"I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church." (Paine, The Age of Reason)

"He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Paine, Common Sense)

...and there's a lot more where those came from. (Including some truly interesting bits about taxing the rich to set up a system of subsidies and care for the poor.) Beck some manages to ignore all of this in laying claim to Paine's legacy. He once had the incredible gall to refer to Thomas Paine as "the me of his generation." And, apparently, Thomas Paine is his great-great-great-great-great grandfather -- politically speaking.



The only thing I can think is that no Tea Party die-hard has ever actually read any of Paine's works in their entirety. I'm not so sure Beck has.

4 February // Franklinite

What can I say about Benjamin Franklin? Well, for starters, I think his incredible demonstration of polymath skills is awesome. Also, I really enjoy his wit and his creative intelligence, which is still remarkable nearly 300 years after his death. He was so good at so many things, which is probably what made him such an urbane and respected politician. (As well as being a pretty impressive inventor/newspaperman/scientist. Plus, I hear he did alright with the ladies.)


At the same time, the Poor Richard persona drives me crazy because it smacks of good old Protestant work ethic, which I (as a lazy person) take strong exception to. This is the stuff chirped by irritating people on Monday mornings; printed on motivational posters of dangling kittens and icebergs. Some of the most blatant offenders:

Would you live with ease, Do what you ought, and not what you please.

...then have a ROLLICKING midlife crisis, leave your spouse for a flighty someone the same age as your oldest child and cry yourself asleep each night into your single malt. Alone.

There’s many witty men whose brains can’t fill their bellies.

Anatomy: Franklin's kryptonite.

Nothing but Money,
Is sweeter than Honey.

Actually, a lot of things are sweeter than honey. Aspartame. Corn syrup. Saccharine. Oh, yes; AND free time. Which is to say time not spent in the deadening and endless pursuit of wealth.

Early to bed and early to rise, Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

...or a breakfast-shift McDonald's employee.

An old young man, Will be a young old man.

...who has never stayed up later than midnight, but has been prematurely balding since he was 20.

Why does the blind man’s wife paint herself?

I feel like there's a slippery bit of misogynistic logic somewhere in there. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I suspect it has something to do with commodification of female bodies and the male gaze...or so my copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves tells me...

Drink water, put the money in your pocket and leave the dry bellyache in the punchbowl.

Then be the only sober person at the lame 18th century party that involves drunken harpsichord, cow-fat candles and endless quadrilles. Sounds fantastic.
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However. With that being said...according to David Keirsey's famous temperment sorter, 1/2 of my personality is similar to Franklin's. According to Keirsey, he's an ENTP (Rational Inventor). That was my childhood type until my thought processes gradually became more introverted. Possibly because not a lot of people are interested in discussing the glue function of particles in Japanese linguistics, or how snorkingly funny Joss Whedon's writing can be (especially in Roseanne and Firefly). Being a geek is such a lonely road to travel.

(I'm serious about the Keirsey! Check out the Keirsey Sorter by clicking the following photo. If you haven't heard of it before, it is actually a very useful tool for mediation and conflict resolution. They teach the KST-II at such luminous old guard institutions as Purdue and Johns Hopkins.)


I am an INTP (Rational Architect) which means I share a type with Marie Curie, Albert Einstein and Harper Lee. Albert Einstein - the man who had to call his wife from the middle of the street for a reminder about where he was supposed to be going.

Yeah. That sounds more like me. >_<